Haze, Gray, and Underway...

Alright, does everyone have their schedules out? Good. Go ahead and set aside 10 hours to watch PBS's documentary series Carrier. It doesn't have to be 10 consecutive hours per se, but I won't hold it against you if you get sucked in...

Seriously, this series is fantastic. It chronicles an entire 6 month tour of duty of the USS Nimitz from March to November 2005. An aircraft carrier is an amazing piece of engineering, but it's also a floating city with everything from garbage people to admirals, from fighter jocks to nuclear physicists. I was expecting lots of amazing footage of the ship in action (I was not disappointed), but I did not expect to be drawn in by the stories of the people that sail her. The thing that struck me the most is that a vast majority of the crew members are literally kids. They're 18 and 19 year olds who, in many cases, joined the navy to get away from less than perfect home situations. Some of them are immature and naive, but they've all been trained to make the ship function safely and efficiently. They handle enough ordinance to lay waste to an entire country and launch and recover multimillion dollar aircraft on a pitching carrier deck.

Throughout the series I found myself empathizing with them, vehemently disagreeing with them, and generally respecting the hell out of quite a few of them. The entire series plays like an epic drama (with a good bit of humour mixed in ) and I can't recommend it highly enough. Despite the 10 episode length, the entire thing is tightly produced, constantly watchable, and mixes in some good music to boot. Although some of the most interesting parts have to do with rank and file sailors, my favorite scene comes from the episode entitled "Rite of Passage". It's even cooler when you've gotten to know the people involved over the course of the previous episodes, but I'll share it here anyway. Part 1 is scary. Part 2 is downright terrifying but contains a fair amount of sheer bad-assery at the end.

Pitching Deck Pt. 1

Pitching Deck Pt. 2

P.S. If you have Netflix, you can Watch it Instantly for free

Somebody to Leon

For those who may be interested, my friend Ian and I have started an FSU sports blog over at

http://somebodytoleon.blogspot.com/

We're mostly focusing on baseball and basketball right now, but we may have some other people write about football too.

In Praise of Trucks...Part 2

Getting back to last night's race, the action and did not disappoint. Despite SpeedTV's incredibly hokey pre-race "Setup", the actual broadcast crew did a nice job of highligting some great racing and compelling stories. The booth of Rick Benjamin, Phil Parsons, and Michael Waltrip was enthusiastic and informative. Perhaps because of its many technical and competive storylines, racing seems to be one of the few sports where a three person broadcast team is not a detriment. One of the things SpeedTV chose to highlight was the current economic situation in racing- something they've been largely ignoring with most of their Cup coverage. Like nearly everything else, NASCAR is hurting from the recession. Johnny Benson, last year's champion, was forced to hook up with a new team after his former employer folded. That's right... the championship winning team went out of business. Imagine if the Philadephia Phillies or Boston Celtics said, "Well, we're glad that we won it all, but we're closing up shop. Sorry." The 2006 champion, Todd Bodine rolled into Daytona with a team and a specific chassis that had won several times at NASCAR's biggest tracks, and yet the truck had no sponsorship decals on the hood. If they don't pick up corporate backing soon, the entire race team will be so far in debt that they will have to lay off all employees and sell off their trucks to cut losses.

The first half of the race featured the usual close racing with many lead changes. There were few incidents except for the aforementioned Bodine causing a multicar wreck by spinning out rookie James Buescher (illustrating that with such a small margin for error at such high speeds, even the most experienced drivers can make mistakes that ruin someone else's day). Maybe Bodine was too agressive, but a track that looks smooth on TV is actually quite bumpy, and the trucks were sliding around all night long. Teams often strive for more rigid suspension packages in order to pick up a few clicks on the stopwatch, but several drivers said that they had gone to a less agressive setup in order to produce a truck that was more controllable over the bumps. Bodine and a few others were also attempting to recover from early penalties for illegal passes that had placed them 1 lap down. It looked like NASCAR was making an preemptive attempt to deflect past critiques that they don't do a consistent job of enforcing their own rules.

At giant tracks like Daytona and Talladega (AL), cars drive in aerodynamically linked packs as they punch a collective hole through the air. This creates a good deal of near misses and usually at least a few big wrecks. Because of that, drivers disagree on how best to attack the unpredictable events at these tracks. Some believe that a driver should stay at the front of the group if at all possible- at least if the "big one" occurs, it will most likely happen behind their current running position. Others espouse hanging as far toward the back as they can without losing the lead group. These drivers hope that they will have a little bit more reaction time to avoid any trouble in front of them.

The closing laps of last night's NextEra Energy 250 saw everyone clawing for the the front, and also some of the previously cautious drivers slicing through the field in order to make their moves. Cup Star Kyle Busch (who is anything but cautious) also had to make an incredible charge in order to make up for an earlier pit miscue that had placed him deep in the pack. Todd Bodine had made his way back to the front by this time and the 16 truck of Brian Scott also found himself briefly leading despite damage from an earlier wreck (although it should be said that NASCAR pit crews are skilled at fixing aerodynamically regulated sheet metal bodies "better than new" rather than "good as new", so this kind of comeback is not always surprising).

In the end it was the sponsorless Bodine who took home the trophy by holding off a hard charging Kyle Busch. The elation of Bodine's entire team was equal to his own, and they did not miss the opportunity to make a televised plea for someone to sponsor the truck. "I guess you could say it was dire straits" the winner said. "We've got to a get a sponsor to continue the season". Certainly, there were few people in the field who needed the win more, and at least for an evening it seemed like the team was going to celebrate and set financial worries aside.

Runner-up Kyles Busch was typically unhappy and grumpy after anything but a victory, and voiced his displeasure for his string of second place finishes in Daytona truck races. Approaching the checkered flag, Busch gave the leader a shot in the bumper with the intention of moving him out of the way, but in the end the push only propelled Todd Bodine to the win. "I"m an idiot in these Trucks" he complained, "I don't know what I can do". Long time Truck Series driver Terry Cook came home third and had a different take on the frantic slipping and sliding of the final laps. "That was fun!" said Cook. "I haven't had this much fun since dodge'em in Elementary School". Also smiling was the young J.R. Fitzpatrick who took fourth place. Prior to October 2008, he had never raced on a track larger than a half mile in length. Five months later under the lights at Daytona, he stood sweating in front of a TV camera- not quite sure where to look, but knowing he had scored his first top five in NASCAR competition at the 2.5 mile, high banked, crown jewel of American motorsports.

In Praise of Trucks...Part 1

Friday's Camping World Truck Series race at Daytona International Speedway was yet another reminder that stock car racing's equivalent of AA baseball is often the best product NASCAR has to offer. What began as a gimmicky series (look, it's a race truck!) has matured into a third national series behind the Cup and Grand National tours. Lower budget, shorter races, and less flashy, the Trucks have retained a lot of the rough and tumble style of their small market, short track origins, but they've also found a place at the big superspeedways- including the world famous Daytona.

While the premier Sprint Cup Series is mainly populated by incredible talents turned marketing machines, the Trucks are a haven for a diverse cast of racers. It is a developmental league for young phenoms- this year features a new group hopefuls including 18 year old James Buescher, young Candian J.R. Fiztpatrick, and Motocross legend Ricky Carmichael. Inexperienced but gutsy, these drivers could be the future of a sport that continues to get younger and attract drivers from all forms of motorsport. Yet Camping World Truck Series (CWTS) races are often won by veterans who are largely unknown by the mainstream media and even more casual race fans. They don't come with a parade of trophy wives and multi-million dollar motorhomes; a lot of these guys look they ought to be working in a feed store or selling you a lawn mower at Home Depot. When the Cup Series exploded in popularity during the 90's, some people were inevitably left behind. Others had a few good years at the top but faded due to bad luck, poor team/crew chief pairings, or a distaste and poor disposition for the constant media barrage of racing's major league. In the Truck Series, they have found a simpler (and perhaps purer) form of racing.

The Trucks are also a test bed for NASCAR as a whole. Many rules designed to created more exciting racing and/or save money had their beginnings in the CWTS. This spirit of innovation continues this year with new regulations limiting how many crew members can be brought to the track each weekend. Also new are mandates that force teams to reuse a single engine over multiple weekends (rather than rebuilding or replacing them after each race).

Basically, it's damn good racing and it's a great way for someone to get introduced to the sport because of the shorter races, great personalities and beatin' and bangin' that fans want to see. I'm going to be attending a Truck race in Atlanta on Mar. 7th, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Part 2 will be a recap of the race itself...

09

Happy New Year Everyone!
I hope everyone's holiday celebrations were pleasant. I had a very small, but very nice Christmas with the parents and aunts. I was going to try and fly standby up to NY for New Year's, but the flights all filled up. Oh well...

Did anyone do something fun? I'm not sure how I feel about New Year's. I may just be in it for the champagne.

Resolutions:

There's really only one, and that is to be healthier. Avoiding morbid obesity is always good right? Not that this is indicative of health, but I've gone vegetarian (again) and I've got a feeling it will stick this time. I'm going to try and mix in a daily dose of swimming, yoga, and cycling too. We'll see how successful that is, but I actually have a schedule that is more well suited to exercise right now (working 8-5).

As far as other things, the thoughts of the day are as follows.

1. I think I've given up on the notion of winning a big orchestra job someday.

2. I haven't yet given up on a university teaching position (but please don't infer that I feel one is "easier" than the other, I'm just thinking of the different lifestyles and different skill sets between the two jobs).

I'm increasingly intrigued by doing something else entirely, although I have no idea what that might be.

So the current mood is either sad about leaving behind what used to be a fairly concrete goal or excitement about doing something new. Not so bad really- but at some point I've got to stop thinking and stop doing. Luckily, I don't think that time is really here yet.

Things I'm digging in the New Year:
Chess (even though I really suck)
Writing
Yoga
Sabermetrics...
Yup, Sabermetrics. The use of stats to better understand and predict baseball players, strategies, and games. It's pretty fascinating in general, in large part due to the conflict b/w traditional "baseball men" and people who place more value on mathematical probability (especially numbers that are statistically significant and not the result of possible random fluctuation and or/media perception) than whether someone is thought of as "a gamer" or "someone who gets his uniform dirty".
I'm interested in the possiblity of doing some analysis with FSU baseball this spring, but I'm not sure if the raw data I might need is available/ accessible. At the least, I'm hoping to find something unique (to college baseball since most of the work is done at the MLB level) and enjoy a large number of games.
It's possible that this blog may become a chronicle of that work. The majority of readers should probably be prepared to be thoroughly bored...errr enlightened.

mitzwanzigerpause

I'm pretty sure that the title is absolute junk German, but I do feel that I have arrived at a time of reflection as I approach the end of my undergraduate degree.

Firstly, the truth. I have felt burned out for most of this semester. The nagging doubts that I don't have the skills required to succeed as a bassoonist come and go as per usual, but they have been much more frequent. My enthusiasm for practicing, my optimism, and my desire to live life in an orchestra were at an all time low for the past few months. I felt like I had a skill set outside of performing that was being ignored. I felt like I was bumping into a wall every time a practiced. I began to wonder if I should spend the money for a graduate degree that I maybe didn't want. Or if I even wanted a graduate degree in music at all. I had been fearful to consider a life for myself outside of music, but I wondered if I'd been blindly disregarding just such an identity. I made the choice to be a musician back in high school and have been following that course ever since. Should I really be doggedly following a plan formulated by a high schooler? I don't know about the high shool you, but the high school me knew approximately nothing. I still don't know the answers to those questions, but since that miniature existential crisis I've gained some clarity.

Realizing that I had to move my recital back because it simply wasn't ready was when I started talking to people about all this. I'm so glad I did. Family, friends, and professors have all been very helpful. Professor Keesecker told me of his own mental excursions to other career opportunities, but said he always came back to music before actually taking the plunge. He helped to bolster my confidence in my own musical mind. He also pointed out that I'd probably expected to make huge gains when my injury problems abated, but of course that's only the first step out of many. Oddly, both he and Dr. O have independently asked if I have any interest in conducting. I don't (and in many ways I think that life could be even rougher than going the orchestra route), but it's funny that they both mentioned it. I began to realize that if I were to look for a career as a bassoonist, a job as a university professor was really the dream-job, not retiring in a professional symphony orchestra. Even if I did the latter very well, I wouldn't really ever have to communicate with others. The former allows for more mentoring, more discussion of all things artistic, more scholarly work, more resources, and more stability. No job is perfect but I began to realize that there was not just one path for me in music. Basically, I wanted to find a vocation that maximizes intellectual stimulation, satisfaction, and a true feeling of contribution (the new element in all this). Heh, wouldn't everybody though?

I also talked Professor Bish once I started considering taking a break to think about these things (she took 3 years b/w her undergraduate and graduate degrees). After speaking to her, my Aunt, the Dude, and some friends in similar situations I have arrived at...

THE PLAN!

Short term:
- I'll graduate in a few weeks with a BM in performance.

Less short term:
-I'll keep my job at the FCRR. It will pay for my lease up until the possibility of a summer sublease and allow me to be completely financially independent.

-I'm going to take at least a semester long break from bassoon and music in general. I need to see how I feel. Do I miss it? Do I feel relieved? Do I want to make it my life? Answers may or may not be forthcoming, but I feel like a hiatus is a necessary step either way.

-I intend to live more like a normal (and perhaps boring) person. I will come home from my menial job, and feel like my work is done. How long does that feel nice? Does it get boring quickly? I don't know- but I'm going to try and enjoy it either way. I'll be setting a little money aside every month so that I'll hopefully be able to do some traveling in the summer. Essentially, I view this time period as an opportunity to live a little. That freedom may not be as readily available in the future (I know these things are not absolutes, but I think you know what I mean). I'm not disparaging the former lifestyle, but I don't really know anything different.

-Most importantly I'm going to try and stay flexible. Perhaps a new career path will present itself. Maybe an amazing summer internship will steer me in a different direction. Maybe I realize that there was a damn good reason why I gravitated to music in the first place.

-In the fall, if I still feel like going for the MM and DM is the way to go, I'll start preparing for auditions. This may be when the real answers begin to come. Several people have assured me that at this point in your musical development, it really isn't that hard to get back what you once had- it's the moving forward that is difficult. So I feel OK about having to shake off the rust, but may not know how I'm really feeling until I really get back into practicing and preparing.

-Maybe I'll go do the MM/DM thing. Maybe I'll do that along with something else. Maybe I'll do something different entirely. Maybe I'll become a monk or a circus performer (well, probably not on those last two).

To close, I don't want anyone to think that I regret my decisions or experiences thusfar. They have all been necessary and in most cases, right. I played in an inspiring USO concert recently that made me wonder why I'd ever want to do anything else. But with my mind changing each day, I think this one is going to take a little longer to sort out.

Whaddya think?

I have a plan! Details to follow...